Seattle Woman Saves Skeins . . . Hailed as Hero

SEATTLE (Rueters) An unnamed Seattle woman was hailed today as a hero when she saved these 10 abandoned skeins of Cascade 220 from certain death (well, maybe near death. Okay, serious complications. Oh, fine, they were really, really cold) when she discovered them in a box on her porch this afternoon. She immediately brought them inside, opened the container they'd been mercilessly stuffed into, and allowed them not only to breathe, but to warm up.
The skeins, after being checked by medics, were said to be recovering nicely.
"I can't even imagine what would have happened to them if I hadn't been at home," she was heard telling police who are investigating this incident of yarn abandonment, a Class C felony in Washington State.
"In the meantime, they have a home here. Why anyone wouldn't want to see them knit up into something pretty, like the Lucy in the Sky Cardigan, I will never understand."
A neighbor reported seeing a large brown truck in the area around the time of the alleged abandonment. While she didn't have her glasses on, she believed it was marked with these three letters, UPS. If anyone has seen a truck matching this description, they are urged to call authorities.